No this is not a “feel bad for me post” this is a “I’m actually feeling this” post. I’m tired of feeling like the whole world is against me . I’m tired of feeling like a mistake, I’m tired of being looked at as a regret. I’m sick and tired of it. The feeling that all my “friends” are secretly talking shit behind my back kills me, fact that my parents think of me as the “worse child” , the feeling that my boyfriend just stays with me because he feels bad . Feeling that he might leave me for someone else.. && the worse feeling .. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness .. Yes I have “friends” but are they really my friends? Or do they just want something out of me . Would they even care if I’m gone forever? Or would they get over it after a few hours. Here I am , open arms and open ears for everyone .. But who’s there for me. I feel like I always try and try to make things work but it just never work out. Why can’t they be straight up and not beat around the bush. I fucken hate that. I’m tired of fake people . Fake friends. Fake relationships. Fake family. Fake everything. I wanna go somewhere far, far from these filthy human beings && somewhere close to my grandpa & everyone up there. Im done.
I don’t want your sympathy, I don’t want your fakeness , I don’t want your attention. I WANT someone Real.
Birthday Mom: I want BLACK Barbie. Not Barbie’s black friend, BLACK BARBIE.
Boss: Done and done.
And every child at that party believed I was the real Barbie. Not Barbie’s black friend, The Barbie. Because black girls can be the star of a franchise too.
How I wish you were around when I was little.